Tattle: Model/singer, 24, to become Hugh's better Hef?
Harris told Britain's News of the World that she's not pushing for a ring, but Hef has expressed interest, and she's ready to sign a pre-nup if that's what it takes.
Harris said that she met Hef at a Playboy Halloween party, for which she dressed as a French maid. OK, so she's not so original.
"We immediately hit it off," she told News of the World. "He talked about his psychology degree and after a few hours he asked me to stay for the weekend."
Hef didn't get to be Hef by waiting for the bananas to ripen.
"After I drove home, he called me up and said, 'Hi, this is Hugh Hefner. I dunno how you feel about this - but would you like to move in with me?' I just said yes, as I thought it was a dream. I quit university and packed my stuff."
That was 18 months ago and now she has Hef mostly all to herself. Except for all the other women, of course. He's even told her about his countless lovers and his sex tapes.
"Some date so far back that they were filmed in 8mm!
"But he had them all dumped in the ocean years ago," she said, "because he didn't want anyone's career to be hurt."
We hope not in the Gulf. They'll be ruined.
As for their living arrangements, Crystal insisted, "We always sleep together. Hef's libido and image have been a big part of his whole life."
Really? Hef? Libido? Image?
"He's very intimate and knows what a woman wants and needs. I don't want to offend him by detailing how many times a night we do it."
Go on, offend him. And, quick, sign a deal with Cialis.
"We're great companions," she said. "He's a great kisser, and quite romantic - there's nothing better than waking up in the morning next to him . . .
"We're like an old married couple already . . . although I don't see him as old at all," she added hastily, lest anyone dare consider Hef to be, uh, old.
"Despite our age difference I'm actually the older, more sensible one."
Ooooooooookay.
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