zz: 空姐崩溃的一天

（登机中，空姐MM在机门口迎客，上来一位帅哥……）

空姐MM：“欢迎您登机，请问您是什么座？”

帅哥：“我是天蝎座，你呢！”

空姐（一脸害羞状）：“真的嘛，好巧噢，我也是天蝎座耶

……”

后面排队的乘客晕倒。

------------------------------------------

（登机完毕，广播响起……）

空姐：“女士们，先生们，欢迎乘坐本次航班，请您坐在跑道上，系好安全带，我们的飞机马上就要起飞了……”

乘客暴寒……

----------------------------------------------

（空姐打起精神继送饮料中……）

空姐：“先生您是喝橙汁还是喝苹果汁？”

旅客：“你们这儿的橙汁有苹果味儿的吗？”

空姐继续晕眩中……

------------------------------------

（空姐扶墙送饮料中……）

空姐：“您好，请问有什么可以帮您的吗？

旅客：“能要一杯水吗？”

空姐：“当然可以，矿泉水吗？”

旅客：“有果汁吗？”

空姐：“有，橙汁和桃汁请问需要哪一种？”

旅客：“有可乐吗？”

空姐：“有，需要加冰吗？”

旅客：“那给我一咖啡吧！”

空姐：@％￥@^&×……

-----------------------------------------

（空姐MM手拿两 咖啡回?客舱……）

这时，一位旅客指着窗外问空姐：“小姐，这是什么湖啊？”

空姐MM回答：“咖啡壶。”

旅客晕眩中……

------------------------------------------------

（叮咚，呼唤铃响了……）

旅客：“小姐，有指甲剪吗？”

空姐：“您当我是机器猫啊……”

---------------------------------------

（不知不觉，供餐时间又到了，空姐MM开始送食品……）

空姐：“先生，我们有鸡肉米饭和鱼肉米饭，请问您吃哪种？”

旅客：“排骨！”

空姐：“先生，我们有鸡肉米饭、鱼肉米饭，请问您选哪种？”

旅客：“排骨！”

空姐（沉默片刻后）：“我们有鸡排骨和鱼排骨，您吃哪种？”

--------------------------------------------------------

（空姐继续晕眩送饭中……）

空姐：“请问牛和鱼您喜欢哪种？”

乘客：“好的，我要‘牛和’。”

空姐：“是牛，和鱼。”

乘客：“哦！那我要‘和鱼’。”

------------------------------------------------------

（飞机还在滑行中，旅客就已经都站起来拿行李了，为了安全，空姐又拿起了广播......)

原本，空姐MM应该说：“女士们，先生们，我们的飞机还在滑行，请您坐好，并关闭头顶上方的行李架。”结果，她一着急广播成了：“女士们，先生们，我们的飞机滑得还行……”

这时候，“叮咚～”内话机又响了，里面传来机长的声音：“谁夸我呢？”

空姐崩溃中……

--------------------------------------------------------

（飞机终于停下了，空姐MM心里老想着赶班车去东直门肯德基餐厅和男友约会，于是广播又传来如下温馨提示……）

“女士们，先生们，我们的飞机已经抵达首都北京东直门肯德基机场……再见～”

旅客疯了……



Comments (posted on Facebook)

Kai Zhao at 2:52am September 6

haha

Xiaole Wu at 8:20pm September 6

fun..

Isabella Yuan at 11:43pm September 6

LOL~~ thanks for sharing :)

Jane Zhou at 5:07pm September 11

This is SO funny!

The Beijing Olympics

Yahoo Sports: Opening Ceremony’s memorable moments (8-8-08)

Friday’s Opening Ceremony was one of the few moments in the fantastical world of sports when superlatives had no shot.

NYTimes: NBC Gets Record Rating for Tape-Delayed Opening Ceremony (8-9-08)

NBC: U.S., China put on a show for the fans by Alan Paul (8-10-08)

The China/USA basketball game is said to have been the most watched ever, with over 1 billion viewers. It was certainly the most exciting I've ever been to over a decade of covering NBA and college games as a Senior Writer for Slam magazine.

The intensity of the anticipation before the game was palpable. The walls of the building felt like they were pulsating. What made for such a remarkable atmosphere was that the sold out crowd was rooting almost equally hard for both teams.

Team USA's introduction induced cheers every bit as hearty as those that greeted the Chinese players. Kobe Bryant's greeting was louder and more positive than anyone's. And the crowd was cheering every great move by both teams.

Center Chris Bosh said that seeing the President before the game and knowing he was watching gave the team an extra push.

"Playing with USA on your chest and knowing the President is watching makes for a very patriotic moment," he said.

NYTimes: Beijing Puts On Happy Face for Games, Without Wrinkles (8-10-08)

An immense number of young people are working at the Olympics, seemingly all of them cheerful and friendly.

Almost a million people applied to be volunteers; a tenth of them were chosen. Successful applicants had to pass two rounds of written examinations and interviews. Tony Qi, who is working as a driver, said he had to pass tests in English, in driving skill and in knowledge of the Olympics.

Volunteers with the best linguistic skills appear to have been assigned the best jobs — the indoor ones, interacting with the news media. Those less fluent were put on traffic or security detail and stand out in the smog all day.

But almost everyone knows at least “Hello,” “O.K.” and “Have a good day,” so it’s possible for English-speaking visitors to have friendly conversations not much different from the ones they have in the elevator every morning back home.

NYTimes: After Glow of Games, What Next for China? (8-24-08)

In its post-Olympic era, the question is whether the success of the games will lead China to domestic reforms or convince leaders that their current model is working.

张五常：雄军尽墨话当年─忆容国团 (4-28-89)

一九八九年世界乒乓球赛在西德举行，中国大陆的男子选手全军尽墨!三十年前，在同一地方，我的好友容国团在世界男子单打的决赛中，左推右扫，把匈牙利名将西多杀得片甲...

十年后，我从芝加哥转到西雅图的华盛顿大学任教，驾车到温哥华一行，遇到了一位从中国大陆来的乒乓球员，就很自然地向他问及容国团的情况。他回答说：“他在去年(六八年)死了，是自杀的。”晴天霹雳，我泪下如雨。

我一向知道容国团热爱国家。但当我在一九六三年回港一行时，一位共识的朋友对我说，他变得很崇拜毛主席，对共产主义有万分热情，当时我就有点替他担心。一九六七年我到了芝加哥大学，在邹谠那里知道不少有关文革的事情，也知道那些小小的红卫兵像费沙那样，将资本的概念一般化。我于是想，乒乓的球技也是资本，不知容国团怎样了?一九六八年，我为此在《政治经济学报》上发表了《费沙与红卫兵》(《Irving Fisher and the Red Guards》)，指出红卫兵的资本概念是正确的，但假若他们真的要消灭资产阶级，乒乓球的高手也...

NYTimes: Despite Flaws, Rights in China Have Expanded

Despite Flaws, Rights in China Have Expanded

Source: www.nytimes.com

"Political change in China, however gradual and inconsistent, has made it a significantly more open place for many people than it was a generation ago."

WSJ: China Takes a More Open Stance With Foreign Press

China Takes a More Open Stance With Foreign Press

Source: online.wsj.com

BEIJING -- China made two gestures toward greater openness as President Hu Jintao held his first news conference ever with foreign journalists, while authorities unblocked several Web sites that they had censored in recent weeks, provoking blistering international criticism.

Tsunhin John Wong at 2:57pm August 2
It's also very important for PRC government to be more open to giving local press more freedom, letting local Chinese in PRC to know what is happening in the country, and accepting criticism from all directions.

Is Google Making Us Stupid?

Is Google Making Us Stupid?

The Atlantic

What the Internet is doing to our brains

"And what the Net seems to be doing is chipping away my capacity for concentration and contemplation. My mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles. Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski."

"Google’s headquarters, in Mountain View, California—the Googleplex—is the Internet’s high church, and the religion practiced inside its walls is Taylorism. ... Drawing on the terabytes of behavioral data it collects through its search engine and other sites, it carries out thousands of experiments a day, ..."

"I’m haunted by that scene in 2001. ... In the world of 2001, people have become so machinelike that the most human character turns out to be a machine. That’s the essence of Kubrick’s dark prophecy: as we come to rely on computers to mediate our understanding of the world, it is our own intelligence that flattens into artificial intelligence."

Mr. Murdoch Goes to War

Mr. Murdoch Goes to War

Source: www.theatlantic.com

Rupert Murdoch wants his Wall Street Journal to displace The New York Times as the world’s paper of record. His ambitions could be good news for the newspaper industry— or another nail in the coffin of serious journalism.

longish piece, exceedingly well written. I think the author has reason to be unhappy with Rupert.

"Bruce Dover, in his book, China Adventures, tells the story of how Murdoch, on the night of the formal handover of power in Hong Kong to the Chinese government, found himself by a series of accidents alone on foot in Kowloon, lost, trying to find his way back to his hotel with neither money nor cell phone. He wandered for hours, melting in stifling humidity, unable to make himself understood, and when he did finally find his hotel, he was barred from entering by guards who were unimpressed with his protestations in English and his lack of an invitation or an ID. Dover, one of his executives, was at long last summoned to the outer gate to investigate the stubborn imprecations of a damp, walletless old man. Dover found Murdoch actually cheerful, or at least “in surprisingly good humor.”

“What an adventure!” the tycoon said. "

Randy Pausch

NYTimes: ‘Last Lecture’ Professor Randy Pausch, 47, Dies

Nicholas D. Kristof: Building Schools in Afghanistan

It Takes a School, Not Missiles

Source: www.nytimes.com

Greg Mortenson has spent less than one-ten-thousandth as much as the Bush administration to help fight terrorism in Pakistan. Instead of blowing things up, he builds schools.

NYTimes: In Changing Face of Beijing, a Look at the New China

In Changing Face of Beijing, a Look at the New China

Source: www.nytimes.com

"The aura of China’s new architecture has as much to do with intellectual ferment as economic clout."

Marvelous piece of writing by Nicolai Ouroussoff.

"It remains to be seen where this will lead. For centuries, architects have aspired to create buildings that enlighten or transform civilization, only to see them remain isolated splendors, with little impact on society at large. That may prove to be the case in China, too.

But there is no question that its role as a great laboratory for architectural ideas will endure for years to come. One wonders if the West will ever catch up."

NYTimes: On Campus, the ’60s Begin to Fade as Liberal Professors Retire - NYTimes.com

On Campus, the ’60s Begin to Fade as Liberal Professors Retire

Source: www.nytimes.com

"Hired during an expansion in higher education, baby boomers are being replaced by a new generation."

Fantastic article on the generational shift of American faculty's political bent. Main point is that the younger generation of professors (especially in social sciences) are evidently more moderate and less ideological than those from the baby-boom era.